On Balancing Career and Family as a Woman of Color -
On balancing career and family as a woman of color.
I have much respect for Michel Martin, her trajectory, her presence in the media world, and her frankness in this piece.
And of course, feelings about it’s content.
But it’s only the end that I will comment on. These are her feelings and I am in agreement and don’t want the pity or guilt of white women. But I’m very very hesitant to ask them to use their privilege - in that scenario their power can easily become a thing doled out to those worthy - and who is that? Those of us women of color who went to college? Who work alongside them? How can we work to improve things for all of us when what makes so much of the “us” different should not be ignored?
it’s about that time…finished books for Fall ‘14 arriving (and going right back out the door to media) top: Noontide Toll, new fiction from Romesh Gunesekera, who was short listed for the Booker Prize for Reef (also available from us). Available in Oct. bottom: The Smartphone, paperback original out in Sept, an engrossing read “that will appeal mostly to the device’s users-all 1.75 billion of them.”- Kirkus #bookstagram #fallreads #currentlyreading
Maybe you want to read these?
Portobello Bagel with Tempeh Bacon and Garlic Cream Sauce / Recipe
best underwear situation I’ve seen in ages.
(Source: youlooklikespringtime, via xtinathegreat)
On Being Fat, Brown, Femme, Ugly, and Unloveable - -
I have become anti-romance because I cannot be invested in romantic love, because this investment is dangerous for my mental health. It is perpetual and intimate exposure to the interlocking systems of white supremacy, fat hatred, cissexism and more. Under these systems, my body can’t be neutral, or erotic, or desired without being fetishized beyond context and recognition. Further, my body is invisible in the alternate visions being created by those who wish to dismantle these systems, who are perhaps more invested in them than they/we/I want to admit or recognize.
Romantic love, as we understand it, is a colonial construct. It is an all-consuming, possessive, lifelong, monogamous endeavor that works to sustain capitalism and white supremacist heteropatriarchy via the nuclear family. We are told that this romantic love is essential, shaping it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Were we to sustain ourselves on self-love, platonic love, and love of community, what could change? We could see the beauty of our interdependence, rather than individuals competing for higher wages and standards of living at the expense of each other. The formation of families, rather than communities, creates hierarchies of which people are worthy and deserving of our attention, protection and devotion. With a restructuring of romantic love as comparable to community/platonic/self-love, we begin to prioritize the care and livelihood of entire larger groups of people as equally important as our romantic partner/s.
In her piece “Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability,” Mia Mingus pushes us to transcend a beauty binary and move towards what she calls magnificence, an embracement of the Ugly and the diversity of the body—of every body. Mingus frames beauty as an inherently exclusionary construction that erases people of color, trans and gender non-conforming folks, and disabled folks, specifically. With this in mind, I am still working through what it means to be ugly and be beautiful, and better understand my investment in beauty. If being “not beautiful” means not being or feeling “love-worthy” and if “love-worthy” means humanity, what does it mean for those of us who are not beautiful? What does love-worthy mean under a colonial construction of love and beauty founded on white supremacy and colonialism? Under these systems, is reclaiming beauty radical or assimilationist? Does it mean something different for my fat, brown, queer, femme, body than it does for others? Who decides? And who are the ugly we are leaving behind?
I’ll just clap.
My book comes out next Tuesday, July 22, and you can pre-order it here, but regardless of whether you pre-order it (although you still should, please, occasionally the publisher reminds me that part of the reason they are publishing the book is to actually sell copies of the book), you are hereby invited to the book party! It is at The POWERHOUSE Arena, a bookstore in Dumbo (37 Main St., Brooklyn, NY 11201) that is the only bookstore I’ve ever been inside that could legitimately lay claim to a name as sick as “The POWERHOUSE Arena.” Although pretty much every bookstore is sick in its own way, this one really is an arena.
The party is on Thursday, July 31from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. and there will be an open bar with hard liquor as well as other kinds of alcohol. There will be DJ sets from Jon Caramanica (face all the way on the left), Sasha Frere-Jones (face next to his), and Tao Lin (face all the way on the right), and I will be “in conversation” with Jesse Cohen, one half of the band Tanlines and also the host of the podcast “No Effects.”
What I can promise is that if you come, you will have an amazing time, meet and make connections with people you will become close friends with, forge memories that will last for the rest of your life, and get trashed for free. This is all I can promise. I hope you will consider coming.
Ah I will be in boston for work on this day, and so I will miss Tao Lin in conversation with half of Tanlines (!) and I am sad about this.
"Pizza? What Pizza? I didn’t see anything arrive for you."
these cats know what’s up.
Feeling pretty anxious today and want some snacks and rosé.